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Why love matters- reading list


Somehow I managed to submit my first end of module assignment for my psychology degree early. This means I've got a bit of reading time before my next module starts👍
"why love matters" by Sue Gerhadt has been on my reading list for quite awhile now. I often flip through the pages at my mum's house. But it's always seemed very happy and full of psychological research papers so I've kind of put it off until I finish the University work.

A few chapters in it's still quite a heavy read. It's been made a little easier as she draws on the work of Bowlby and The Romanian orphanage study to illustrate her points about cortisol development.

So far as I can tell it mainly supports the attachment theory, but uses biology and neuroscience to "prove" how important the loving parent child relationship development is.

My key take away so far is that once put in a stressfull or scary situation (maybe being scolded or witnessing a parental argument or even road rage!) children can't self regulate themselves back into a safe emotional state. Instead they look to the adults around them. Children who's caregivers don't show them how to calm or help them can will struggle with this later in life. As a hothead (with my husband) I've taken note. Try to be a lot better at expressing myself and being calm. Definitely makes me reassured in my decision not to scold my kids too.

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